Love has no Boundaries

Words can’t really describe what he meant to me and my kids. It’s almost too personal. He was part of our family for about 10 years and has been a part of my life for 25 years and a father figure, mentor and friend to my two adult children. He was a gentle, kind and loving soul who meant a lot to the three of us. Friends for  almost 25 years, he and I met training as Journey Therapy Practitioners. So there has always been a very spiritual soul element to our friendship and love.

In many ways, I would say he was the wind beneath my wings for this last third of my life. He listened to me practice my TEDx talk 42 times and was in the wings to prompt me when I stumbled near the beginning of it.

He believed implicitly in me and the work I do in the world and believed that through supporting me to get on my feet all those years ago, he was helping many couples to help heal the division between men and women. Being the son of a woman who he saw tragically abused as a young child, he wanted to be part of the change.

He created a legacy through his utter kindness and compassion and by publishing his book Six Initiatives for Men, reading I recommend to all men and women and couples who come to a retreat.

Sadly circumstances prevented me from having barely any contact with him over the last two years so I have already grieved privately and deeply the loss of his presence in my life. It is still hard. The form of our relationship changed but the depth of mutual love, respect, dedication and care for each other never changed.

I feel so blessed that a week before he left us, I got 40 minutes of undivided time with him, alone, where we expressed our love and tenderness with each other. He cried so much. We both did. For those of you who know him, you would know how easily his heart was moved because he was such an open-hearted man.

We had long periods of silence looking into each other’s eyes. Just loving. He was so emotional that he could barely speak. In typical Gene fashion, he uttered words like ‘It’s a mystery… I don’t know where this is going… The only important thing is LOVE.

We both agreed that the time we had for those precious 40 minutes was gold. No one and nothing can change that. A week later, I was in Brisbane when one of his daughters kindly told me he didn’t have much time and a dear friend offered to drive me up to the Sunshine Coast Hospital. As we left the hospital carpark, the time stamp on our ticket was 9.32 am. He died at 9.33. We left and he left. We have been and will be forever connected. Love has no boundaries. He will be forever missed and fondly remembered by us with so much love and gratitude.

There are few pictures of us and him publicly as he wasn’t a showy person and never was interested in me sharing photos, say, on Facebook. So I honoured that. We also never wanted to use ourselves as an example to sell retreats. We always said it’s about the work. Not us.

But as a friend said, this kind of love changes your DNA. I am simply not the same. Love, loving and being loved transform you. It’s a fact. And I’m grateful to continue what we started buoyed by this love beneath me.

With so much division in the world, the cancel culture and the voracious desire to be right and get our needs met, I think sometimes the simple fact of love and its power can be easily forgotten. That’s what I’ll always remember from this beautiful man.

 What we started together - The Making Love Retreat in Australia

Read Gene's book for free, Six Initiatives for Men

A Little more about Gene, in his own words.