This Tuesday 7th July at 8.30 pm, SBS Insight is airing an episode asking the question, "Sex Recession?".  It's opened an important conversation.

Why are so many people having less sex than previous generations?

What is really happening in our relationships?

Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing past Making Love Retreat participants Tess and Craig, who appeared on the programme to share their story.

As I listened to them speak, I found myself deeply touched.

Not only because of the honesty and wisdom they brought to the conversation, but because Craig and Tess are now the sixth graduates of The Making Love Retreat who have been invited by SBS to share their experience publicly.

That feels significant.

To me, it suggests something important. People aren't simply searching for better sex. They're searching for a genuine connection. And less shame-based, intelligent conversations about sex.

Less Stress about Making Love

Craig and Tess have been married for more than 32 years. Like many loving couples, they hadn't fallen out of love. But over time, intimacy had quietly become surrounded by pressure.

There was the unspoken question of when they would make love.

The expectation that intimacy had to lead somewhere. The subtle stress that so many couples carry but rarely talk about. 

After attending The Making Love Retreat two years ago, everything began to change.

Not because they learnt new sexual techniques. But because they discovered something much more profound.

They learned how to create emotional intimacy first.

Today, they describe their relationship very differently.

Rather than focusing on making love, they focus on connecting every day. Sometimes that connection is through conversation. Sometimes through affectionate touch. Sometimes simply sitting together in presence.

Ironically, by taking the pressure away, intimacy became something they both naturally wanted to move towards.

In this interview, we discuss:

• Why emotional intimacy is becoming more important than sexual performance.
• What the SBS Insight 'Sex Recession?' episode revealed about modern relationships.
• The challenges younger generations face with dating, technology and the impact of the Me Too movement.
• How presence, eye contact, and removing expectations can transform intimacy.
• Why creating safety and connection first often leads to a richer and more satisfying love life.
• How these practices have positively influenced every area of Craig and Tess's lives - not just their relationship.

If you're in a long-term relationship and feel like you've become more like friends than lovers, this conversation offers hope that there is another way.

Calming the Perimenopausal nervous system

One of the most beautiful parts of our conversation was hearing Tess describe how this shift has affected every area of her life.

She spoke about feeling calmer. More whole. More authentic. She described feeling like a completely different person.

When the nervous system no longer carries the hidden tension around intimacy, something else becomes possible.

You show up differently. Not only with your partner. But with your family. Your friends. Your work. Your community.

Authenticity becomes much easier when you're no longer carrying unspoken stress.

This Isn't Just About Older Couples

One of the strongest themes that emerged from the SBS Insight discussion was that this issue spans every generation.

Younger people, according to what Tess and Craig say here, want less committed sex. And what many are actually saying is something quite different.

• They prioritise their work-life and friendships.
• They want emotional safety.
• They want a genuine connection.
• They want intimacy that feels respectful and real.

Technology, dating apps, and changing social dynamics have created new challenges, making authentic connection harder to find.

The desire hasn't disappeared. The pathway to connection has become more complicated. Whether you've been together for thirty years or you're just beginning a relationship, the human need remains the same.

We all long to feel seen, accepted, safe, and most importantly, loved.

Not a sex recession, but an intimacy recession

People often imagine that improving intimacy requires doing something complicated.

Craig and Tess discovered the opposite at The Making Love Retreat. Some of the most powerful practices are incredibly simple. One of the tools they continue to use is softening into gentle eye contact with no agenda, no pressure. No expectation that it has to lead to sex. Just two people choosing to be fully present with each other.

It sounds almost too simple.

Yet this is where emotional intimacy begins.

Presence before performance.

Connection before expectation.

Love before technique. 

So tune in this Tuesday at 8.30 pm, July 7th 2026, to SBS Insight here 

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The other episodes of SBS Insight were:-

'Midlife Sexual Awakenings' - March 2023 with Julie, Con and me.

'Talking About Sex' - April 2023 with Nathalie.

These previous episodes can be viewed under Insight on SBS On Demand.

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Ready to experience a different way of relating?

If you long to feel emotionally close again, to rediscover intimacy without pressure, and to create a loving, heart-based relationship where you both feel seen, safe and deeply connected, I'd love to welcome you to The Making Love Retreat.

This retreat isn't about learning how to have more sex. It's about learning how to come home to each other.

When emotional intimacy returns, physical intimacy often follows—naturally, gently and without force.

Learn more about The Making Love Retreat and discover upcoming retreat dates. Your journey back to love can begin here.